


Enough bullshit.

by Canninverse



Category: Banana Bus Squad, H2OVanoss - Fandom, Vanlirious
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 04:49:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5898907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canninverse/pseuds/Canninverse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Evan thinks too much. In those times, only one person can make him feel better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enough bullshit.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story in here although I had an hard time trying to understand how ao3 works. But yeah, I'm finally done so I hope you'll enjoy! (/_\\)

_“Evan is always in the spotlight, it’s getting annoying!”_  
“He’s not funny at all! He would never be where he is without the other guys!”  
“He just laughs and his jokes aren’t even funny!” 

He tried to get used to the mean comments, he really did. More than once. He knew that, no matter what you did, some people would always be there to try and bring you down but he didn’t want to let them win, so he just dealt with it even though inside he was hurt.  
He didn’t really care about what those people thought, haters could tell whatever they wanted. He cared though, about what his friends thought. And he was scared that they would think the same.  
Yes, in his videos he was always in the spotlight but what did they expect? It was _his_ video and he had to be in it. In Lui’s video, Lui had to be in the spotlight, in Brock’s video, Brock had to be in the spotlight and so on. It was a normal thing, everyone had his own channel and had to edit his own parts. And yeah, maybe he wasn’t that funny, not as much as Tyler, Jonathan or Daithi, but he tried. He really tried and hearing them laugh because of him was one of the most beautiful things. That’s why he always edited the parts in which they were laughing at his jokes. Because he enjoyed it, and thought that maybe his subscribers would enjoy it too.  
But the thing he hated the most was hearing fans saying things such as “Vanoss’ crew” or “Vanoss and the crew”. He wasn’t the leader of anything. He wasn’t the one who had started it, they had been playing together for a while now but people still kept on calling their group, “Evan’s group”. That was wrong, he didn’t want that. More than once he had explained that they shouldn’t call them like this, but no one would listen. What if the others were hurt because of this? Because everyone would always recognize him as the leader? He didn’t want that at all.  
The voices inside his head kept yelling, screaming, saying things he didn’t want to hear.  
_“They don’t enjoy playing with you. Have you heard them? They play with you only because you’re popular and you get them views. Their laughter doesn’t sound sincere when they are with you. But go watch them laugh when you’re not around.. they sound so joyful.”_  
He had noticed it too. He hated not being there when the others played, he wanted to hear all of their conversations, be present when they made funny jokes, made stupid skits. Sometimes he would watch their videos and hear them have fun, they really laughed better when he wasn’t there. What if the voices were right? What if they stood by his side only because of his fame? How would he know they were real friends? All the evidences were there, all of the things he didn’t want to hear, were true.  
He hadn’t wished for this, he hadn’t expected anything. He started playing videogames because he liked them, he found a bunch of guys on the internet who shared his feelings and his hobbies and they decided to play together. That was all. He didn’t think they would get this famous. That _he_ himself would get this famous. And maybe.. that fame ruined everything.  
There were times, back then, when they all played together without filming anything. They just played to have fun, nobody was in the spotlight, nobody tried too hard to be funny and all. They just enjoyed their free time. With no cameras they were able to talk about everything, to be serious for once, without being boring because everyone had their problems and they liked to talk about it together, discuss things, try to solve them.  
Now they hardly had time to even see each other. Everything was: _“Let’s make a video”, “yeah, ok”_ and tadan, the video was ready. It was sad, that’s why he hated thinking about it but those fucking voices, they were always there, in his mind, they were slowly making him fall deep in his own world, making him panic for no reason. Everyone would want the friends he had, why couldn’t he just appreciate them?  
It wasn’t rare for Evan to have those “attacks”. A moment was happy, the next one he was panicking, feeling uneasy and all that shit. It just happened and when it happened, nobody could help him get out. Not even his girlfriend. 

The phone suddenly went off. It was a call and, although he didn’t really want to hear anyone in that moment, as soon as he saw the name that popped up on the bright screen, his face lit up.  
Maybe there was someone that could help him, after all.  
_“Yo, Evan”_  
“Yeah, what’s up Delirious?”  
“Wanna play with me and the guys?”  
As soon as he heard what his friend had to say, his heart dropped. Really? All he wanted was someone who could comfort him. Was it too much to ask for someone who would be concerned for him? Who could understand him? He didn’t want to play to make money, he didn’t want to play to entertain the others, to make others happy. For once, he wanted to be happy.  
He sighed, filling his lungs with air and then releasing it loudly.  
_“Yeah, be right there.”_ He answered after a few seconds. He took another deep breath.  
_“You ok?”_  
“Of course, just.. let me get the camera, I’ll get everything ready in five.”  
There was another short pause and he thought that it was a good time to hung up but he stopped when he heard the other guy’s voice once again.  
_“Nah, don’t. We don’t feel like filming today. Just videogames and chill, you know?”_  
He knew. His friend always knew when something was wrong with him and he always fucking knew how to make him feel better. How was it even possible?  
Delirious probably knew that he was thinking those awful things again and he had already talked to Evan about it. He had said many times that the guys wouldn’t use him only for his fame, they would never betray their friendship, it was too important for them. He had said many times that they didn’t mind being known as the “Vanoss’ crew” because _“Evan_ –he had said- _you are a great leader”_. They were cool with it. He was the only one making a fuss out of it, but he didn't have to because no one cared about what others said. They knew what was important and nobody could make them change their mind.  
_“So.. you in?”_  
His husky voice snapped him out of his thoughts and immediately he pushed them away. Enough with that, enough bullshit. He was in. Hell yeah he was.  
_“Why are you even asking, asshole.”_ He said, his words finally turning into a laugh again and he could hear his friend –his best friend- chuckle on the other side of the phone.  
_“Great. You’re going down, Vanoss!”_  
Yeah, sometimes he would think too much. He had to stop that and cherish the time he spent with the guys. With his friends. He would never doubt them again.


End file.
